Understanding Learned Helplessness
Learned helplessness occurs when a child repeatedly experiences failure or perceives themselves as unable to succeed, leading them to feel powerless and disengaged. Over time, they may develop a belief that they have no control over their situation and that their efforts won’t make a difference. As a parent, it’s essential to recognize the signs of learned helplessness and take steps to help your child build resilience and regain their motivation.
Over the break, I read “The Motivation Breakthrough: 6 Secrets to Turning On the Tuned-Out Child” by Richard Lavoie. This is a great book for teachers and parents to read to learn more about the struggles our children go through.
As a parent, nurturing your child’s motivation to learn and grow is essential in helping them reach their full potential. Richard Lavoie’s “The Motivation Breakthrough” offers valuable insights into the six secrets of motivation—success, affiliation, power and control, purpose, curiosity, and competence. However, it’s also crucial to understand and address learned helplessness, a psychological phenomenon that can hinder a child’s motivation and self-esteem.
Embrace the Power of Success
Scaffold tasks
Break down challenging tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. This approach helps your child experience success along the way and prevents them from feeling overwhelmed by the difficulty.
Focus on effort, not just results: Praise your child for their hard work and perseverance, even if they don’t achieve the desired outcome. This approach helps counteract learned helplessness by emphasizing that their efforts are valuable and can lead to improvement.
Understand the Value of Belonging
Foster peer support
Encourage your child to develop positive relationships with peers who can offer encouragement and share their own experiences of overcoming challenges.
Model resilience: Share stories of your own struggles and how you overcame them, demonstrating that everyone faces setbacks and that they can be overcome.
Leverage the Influence of Power and Control
Encourage self-reflection
Help your child recognize their strengths and areas for improvement. This process can empower them to take control of their learning and develop strategies for success.
Avoid over-helping
While it’s natural to want to assist your child, doing too much for them can inadvertently reinforce learned helplessness. Instead, guide them through the problem-solving process and encourage them to take responsibility for their actions.
Acknowledge the Role of Purpose
Set realistic expectations
Help your child develop a healthy understanding of success and failure, emphasizing that setbacks are a natural part of learning and growth.
Discuss the bigger picture
Help your child understand the long-term benefits of their efforts, connecting their current challenges to future goals and aspirations.
Foster a Sense of Curiosity
Encourage a growth mindset
Teach your child that intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and persistence. This mindset can help counteract learned helplessness by emphasizing the potential for growth and improvement.
Normalize failure
Discuss the importance of learning from mistakes and how failure can ultimately lead to growth and success.
Cultivate Competence and Mastery
Offer opportunities for improvement
Help your child identify specific skills they can work on and provide resources or opportunities for them to practice and improve.
Be a positive model
Demonstrate your commitment to continuous learning and growth, showing your child that everyone can improve and overcome challenges.
Supporting your child’s motivation involves not only applying Richard Lavoie’s six secrets but also recognizing and addressing learned helplessness. By understanding this phenomenon and taking steps to help your child build resilience, you can empower them to overcome challenges and foster a lifelong love of learning.
Remember, as a parent, your love, guidance, and encouragement are invaluable tools in helping your child navigate both the joys and the struggles of life’s learning journey.
Here are a couple parent books I can recommend as a parent and eductaor
